You are navigating a serious predicament. Young adults today are grappling with constantly changing economic conditions, which makes planning for the future feel like a gamble. There is a lot of pressure to find a productive path, and there is a deafening amount of noise and distraction that makes it incredibly difficult to focus. 

What is ‘The Noise’? 

The Noise is the constant chatter of external pressures and societal expectations that tell you who you should be and how you should live. It tries to define what success should look like, the things in life that will make you happy, and how to evaluate your worth as a human. All of this has been transmitted to you in one form or another since you were born, all without ever asking for your conscious permission. 

Where Does It Come From? 

These expectations are communicated to us through three main channels that shape our reality: 

1. Family and Community Expectations 

We all constantly watched our parents. If they work 80 hours a week and see exhaustion as a status symbol, you will naturally absorb the expectation that you are expected to do the same. If they are constantly worried about money or status, you learn to worry about the same things. You’re internalizing these expectations without ever realizing it. 

2. Forms of Media and Social Platforms 

From an early age, we watched TV shows, movies, and content that showed us what society expects. We learned it in schools, churches, and peer groups that taught us how to be obedient and how to act. Social media and curated content paint an illusion of perfectionism that makes us believe we are inadequate for not having the perfect looks, body, wardrobe, or success level. This is just an illusion, but if people are not mindful and don’t keep a critical eye, it becomes their reality. 

The Digital Cost: Media and social platforms amplify these pressures. According to the Pew Research Center, 90% of U.S. teens use YouTube, 63% use TikTok, and 61% use Instagram. Studies indicate that teens who spend more than three hours a day on social media are at double the risk of experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety, and social media also intensifies body image concerns, with nearly half of adolescents reporting that these platforms make them feel worse about their appearance. 

3. Economics: The Cost of Keeping Up 

The Noise often drives financial stress. Recent Federal Reserve data shows only 73% of U.S. adults feel they are “doing okay” or “living comfortably” financially, highlighting widespread financial stress caused by inflation and income inequality. The Noise tells you to spend to keep up; your focus tells you to spend to serve yourself. By focusing on personal values and needs, you can achieve fiscal stability by prioritizing experiences over possessions or supporting causes you care about. Research shows that aligning financial decisions with personal values leads to greater happiness and resilience, even if income is modest. 

Gaining Clarity: Your Attention is Your Weapon 

Your attention is your weapon in the constant fight against the external forces trying to dictate your life, making mindlessness your greatest enemy. To reclaim your focus, it’s essential to analyze your Control Panel and ask yourself these critical questions: 

Control Panel Questions 

• What specific expectations (from social media, family, or friends) are currently making you feel guilty or inadequate? 

• How much of your time, money, and emotional energy are you dedicating to meeting an expectation that fundamentally doesn’t align with your personal well-being or happiness? 

Do This for Yourself 

If you were able to entirely dismiss that one external expectation today, what would be the single greatest benefit to your mental health, finances, or free time? 

Why is This Important? 

This small exercise is a simple step you can take to imagine and visualize your life without one external pressure that is getting in your way of accepting yourself. It can free you from the feeling of inadequacy, anxiety, and worry, and it opens mental space to focus on your genuine interests in life on your terms. 

Every time you consciously choose to ignore an external expectation, you reinforce your personal agency and the power to choose your own path. This is the foundation of building a life where your hard work and effort are serving your happiness, not someone else’s definition of success.